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Tuesday, March 19, 2019

February: Valentine? Life?

I know this is a late post, but let me share it.

2017, I still remember when I wasn't ready for a commitment, Mat has prepared to ask me to become his girlfriend on Valentine's day. He has written a song, a beautiful song for me. At that time, I didn't let him do that because I wasn't sure about many things.

I didn't want to give a flight of fancy to him after all of his efforts. A ton of things was complicated back then, so I didn't want to make it more tangled.

top / zara
coat / zara
bottom / pull and bear

There were so many memories behind us before we committed to each other. It wasn't easy for us. Sometimes on Sunday morning when the sky is cloudy, we hug each other on the bed and talk about the old days. Embracing what we've been through and be grateful about it, we are so happy.

When I let Mat came into my life, it was difficult for us. Back in the day, we lived companionless for years, yet after we committed, we have to balance our lifestyle in harmony.

We skipped one Valentine's day because of the distance. Mat couldn't make it. Maybe you'd be wondering why 'a single day' turned out to be that important for me? Maybe you think I'm a hopeless romantic.

Distance means there could be a lack of communication. For me, communication is inarguably essential in my relationship. It's like bread-and-butter. 

The distance makes every special day we've missed worthier as we couldn't be together at that time. I wish to treasure every moment that we've failed to take.

I don't want to look back for that all those helplessness becomes my strength now, something that I'd cherish for the rest of my life.

- - -

Last month on 14th was the day that every couple in the world wouldn't want to miss. Mat was busy with his composition, and oddly, his deadline was on the 14th. I wasn't sure if he'd finish in time as he worked a few days straight already. I didn't want to bother either.

He said he'd finish his work before 2 pm. I smiled and told him not to worry about it. I kept my self busy with stuff, so I didn't disturb him. I think deep in his heart, he knew that I've waited for this day. He probably thought that I'd be sorrowful if we couldn't date on that day. HAHA

Miraculously, he finished it earlier than expected, and we could have our first Valentine's date!

We went to a sushi stall in the city centre for a late lunch. Sushi is expensive in Birmingham, and it doesn't taste as fresh as some sushi I've ever had in my hometown (like Sushi Masa or Nama Sushi). This one we had wasn't bad but not the best in our opinions, but still satisfying enough for our tummy.

After we had our lunch, Mat gave me flowers. It's a mix of Roses and Baby's Breath. It was simple, but for me, that day was like a fairy tale.

Sometimes, I'm worried, like should I be happy, or do I deserve this kind of happiness. Once in a while, when the shadow pays me a visit, the thoughts sink me away from this world.

But because I live through the darkness, I always look for the light.

Nevertheless, this should be a short romantic post. Some people would think it's corny, but it doesn't matter. Every people have a different opinion, that's why appreciation and understanding is something we must learn.

At this point, I want to deliver some messages to all of you.

No women are the same, and I know it's hard to understand us. If you think your woman is starting to be irrational, instead of degrading her feeling or abandon her, you should try to get to know her.

How? Ask her. Communicate with her. Listen to her with your heart, not with your logic, because logic will never grasp it.

If you'd like to learn; to communicate, to understand, you'll harvest a diamond.

And woman, be honest with yourself. I see many women are afraid to voice their true feeling in fear of rejection and abandonment. Remember, your true significant other will hold on. Every single of you is worthy, don't devote to someone who doesn't treasure you.

Regardless of gender, nobody is perfect. No relationship is perfect, mine neither. I want to build a strong (unbreakable) foundation for my relationship based on honesty, openness, patience, genuineness and other good values we cherish.

I'm still far from that, but I believe with faith and perserverance, we could make it happen.



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