Thursday, February 01, 2018

Assumption

Hey guys, I'll be sharing some of my writings from my Instagram stories. You know, I brace my self up to share my writings again because of my fiancé. He knows that I love writing and he supports me to share it.

I was afraid to share my feelings and my thoughts online since a year ago, I can't tell you the reason because I don't want anyone to assume and create their own drama anymore. I'm so tired of that.

Btw, If you followed my Twitter back then, Twitter is a media where I can share my recent real feelings about anything, both positive and negative, it's the media where I can release my down feeling.

And it could be anyone or anything I read/watch. If I was sad, I expressed my sad feeling by tweeting. That applies to any kind of emotion as well, anger, happiness, over whelmed, etc.

You know when you're so depressed and have no place to rant?

Some people who don't understand depression shouldn't hate if they DON'T have any experience about it. You shouldn't laugh about it and talk to them like they're crazy.

A year ago, my only prayer was:
"Please leave me alone, God knows what is the truth and all my intentions, sufferings and depressions.. You know I'm not a weirdo.. I just want to go home."

Because of my Twitter, I was judged and lectured for hours because one said I was talking bad about them? And I did't have chance to explain because NO ONE wants to listen.


And you know, like any one of my followers would ASSUME I was talking about them like what they assumed? My followers know that I was expressing my feelings just like everyone does. It's the freedom of speech and express our feelings toward something happened in our lives.

I guess sometimes people are too afraid to maintain their own image where NO ONE is actually notice and care about who they are. Good luck with it tho.   :)

Let me say again, NO ONE IS ASSUMING YOU.

If you feel guilty that's NOT my problem, it's simply yours. I have ZERO hatred towards something illogical because I dont want to invest my time to someone who doesn't want to UNDERSTAND & APPRECIATE me and only assume the bad things in me.

But I deleted my Twitter... because it reminds me of something BAD and I want to move on, it becomes traumatic for me. So, often I post on my Instagram stories now..

When you have mental disorder, being misunderstood and mentally abused, you feel deeply broken and unloved. Imagine if you're already broken into pieces and then the pieces burnt into dust.. what should you do to your self?

As for me, I didn't want to blame anyone because it wasn't important to me anymore.. I was drowning into my deep soul for months and started self-healing. I stop explaining my self to Ignorant people who thinks they have the right to judge me and control me. Bye.

You can't treat anyone the same and if you don't understand, STOP blaming everything to the depressed people, It just CRUEL..

If you can't see the blood, doesn't mean it's okay.

Now I become stronger because God loves me, He gives abundant blessings to the unwanted, I have people who loves me for who I am and support me. They sincerely want me to heal and become a better me regardless of any social standard. I don't wish to be rich or to live a luxurious life, I don't need to please everyone and want them to like me, all I want is to live peacefully with people I love and keep sharing about my life. I'm just the extroverted introvert INFJ.  :)


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Btw my writing is about Assumption.

It was just one of my random thoughts when I couldn't sleep last night. Name was written only for examples, any resemblance is purely coincidence lol. Stop assuming!

I hope you get what I want to deliver in my writing.