Tuesday, May 26, 2015

About Marriage and Children - Last

Hello ladies and a man, thank you so much for all your feedbacks on my previous post about Marriage and Children. I'm glad that everyone is so open-minded about this topic! I have to write this reciprocal post as my final opinion about this topic and to thank all of you. :)





I have to say again 'it's not like I don't want to get married but it just that marriage isn't my priority in life'. I don't know about the future, well no one knows but one conclusion here :



"it's okay to not rush about it :)"


I don't want to marry the wrong person and stuck with him for the rest of my life. Live the life I don't want forever.. My aunt said her friend is getting married soon and her age is like middle 40's something with younger guy. I personally think it's okay, but people will judge. Well, that's life though.

I am a family oriented person and I really appreciate my parents. Sometimes I take them as my priority so it's a little bit hard for me to neglect what they wish for my future. Honestly, they never really pushed me to get married soon but I can see it in their eyes lol and sometimes it bugs me. But I always so rebel since I was a kid and I don't want to think about that, so I don't pay attention. Do you think I'm a bad daughter? haha.




About no husband and adopted child, I think it's all about the culture here. I can't blame public judgement though because that's what people usually do. And it's true that 'whatever you do people will judge so don't give a fuck'. I don't care about public's opinion but I do care about my parents feeling, but the most important is being happy right? :<

I asked some people about the adopted child and most of them said (all of them asian), if I adopt a child, he/she isn't my real child because I don't give a (fuckin) birth to them and I won't love them as much as my own born-child. And there'll be a genetical different. Why is that a problem? I won't hide that he/she is adopted and I'll educate them that being adopted isn't a bad thing!!!! :(

Moreover some of them said, perhaps if we're at our lowest stage, stresses and all, we will say a bad thing that'll hurt them, forever... I personally think that people shouldn't have a child when they're not ready yet.





I know a friend, let's say she is A. A always brings a little girl everywhere with her and I thought she was her child so I asked. And A replied that the little girl is her sister's daughter. I believe her. But lately I know that the little girl is her born-child and she hasn't marry any guy yet. (this isn't related to adopt thingy but I just want to share :> )

One of my friend said that the little girl was born because of accident and maybe A felt so embarrassed so that she didn't want to admit that the little girl is her child. I feel so sad.. Maybe she has some circumstances that I don't know, maybe she doesn't want people to judge her.. that's why she didn't want to admit it. Do you think it's necessary to hide it? If you're A, will you admit?

Everyone has a different personality and circumstances, so let's not judge A. I think as long as the child is happy then that's fine but my only enigma is, we don't know about the future, I think it's better if A didn't lie to her daughter too as it'll hurt her later.



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BTW I'm happy to read all the feedbacks about the adoption kids! And thank you so much for sharing about all the single parents you guys know with adopted children! Glad to heard that they're all happy and healthy. It's so inspiring! Thank you! :D :D :D

I think there're so many orphaned children scattered everywhere and if someday I want a child, I prefer to adopt one or two if I could. Or perhaps if my story changes, I meet my partner, I hope he has a similar perspective like me. It'll be wonderful! haha

3 comments:

zipora ayu said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mei Grey said...

I'm like 30++ and haven't find a suitable partner yet, but I'm all happy living by my self, always enjoying life with all the bitter sweet sides.
But everything change each time I meet my mom, instead of asking how I'm doing, am I healthy etc, she keeps pushing the topic to: why you haven't got any partner yet? You are getting old, bla bla bla.
It is not that I don't want to get married, I just haven't found the right one.
Sometimes the close people expectations making me became ungrateful for the life I already have, the family gatherings are also annoying.
They are my family, but often for my own sanity I need to keep a good distance so we can have good & healthy relationship. ^^
Our culture prefer the female married in early age, many of females in my neighborhood still so young but already have several kids, most of them are actually still teenager, still young but already carying babies everywhere, can't having fun, reach personal dreams, and free to be them selves. That is not the life I want. ^^;;;;;;;
Jadi curhat, tapi ya gitu deh, dari pada dipendem terus.

Mei Grey said...

I'm like 30++ and haven't find a suitable partner yet, but I'm all happy living by my self, always enjoying life with all the bitter sweet sides.
But everything change each time I meet my mom, instead of asking how I'm doing, am I healthy etc, she keeps pushing the topic to: why you haven't got any partner yet? You are getting old, bla bla bla.
It is not that I don't want to get married, I just haven't found the right one.
Sometimes the close people expectations making me became ungrateful for the life I already have, the family gatherings are also annoying.
They are my family, but often for my own sanity I need to keep a good distance so we can have good & healthy relationship. ^^
Our culture prefer the female married in early age, many of females in my neighborhood still so young but already have several kids, most of them are actually still teenager, still young but already carying babies everywhere, can't having fun, reach personal dreams, and free to be them selves. That is not the life I want. ^^;;;;;;;
Jadi curhat, tapi ya gitu deh, dari pada dipendem terus.

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